The Pain

I've heard it once said, "Love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener." But I would just like to add to that sentiment.
When the eye is opened, it allows for tears to flow freely.

The depth of pain that is caused by ones own sin, not only to the self, but to others is the most interesting part. As the addict, we feel as though we're fine, and in reality, we probably could get along just fine if people didn't exist and want to be a part of our lives. But, they do. People want to be a part of our lives, thus they get hurt. Your sin will never just affect you.

A student I know, had three boxes of chocolates to sell. He sold 6 of the 60 bars (20 per box) and mysteriously, only 5 bars were left. He ate the rest -- in less than two weeks. This student, without sugar, is already extremely hyper, ADHD and just simply doesn't think because he's 12 years old. He's a pre-pubescent boy. And did I mention that his mother is a health freak? Her children rarely ever are allowed sugar. The last time they apparently had soda in the house was eight years ago. This is a literal number. The only reason why grease went into that house in the last four months, was because me and some friends brought some K.F.C knock off over. The kids loved it.
Anyway, this student he actually almost went psycho. No one knew why, until one day his mother found the stash of wrappers. Instead of throwing them out after usage, he let them pile up. Until one day, his stash of left-overs was found. He had been caught. As things began to unfold, he gradually saw how this had affected other people. Yes he had stole, and he would suffer personal consequences. In fact, the consequence he wanted, but couldn't was a spanking. He wanted to have the pain, and be over with it, and just move on, expecting that would actually solve the problem. Yet, because of how many chocolate bars he ate, he owed almost $100. His parents are in a financial struggle, and so is the church that entrusted him with these chocolate bars to sell for a youth fundraiser. So, to simply receive a spanking isn't good enough, nor what is required for restoration, beside the fact that he would never learn otherwise.
Here's how his sin affected other people:
the church: The jr. high youth group was planning on going to a conference. The chocolate bars was to pay for the registration of some students and also bring down the cost so that parents could more easily afford to pay.
Because we were out $100, we couldn't do that as effectively, thus possbily stopping other students from being able to go to this conference.
The church also had to pay for base cost of all the chocolate bars ($1 per bar).
Now, because some kids can't go to this conference, entire family plans for that weekend would be completely messed up. The parents can't do exactly what they planned to, and how they planned to do it.
Not only that, but we can't trust him with anything until he regains that trust.
his family: His family, like stated earlier, had little to no money to speak of. So how are they going to afford a random $100? Now his parents had to work extra hard, find extra money, and actually sacrifice extra all because he got selfish and decided to not think about other people -despite the fact that he admitted he knew it was wrong, but did not care.
His parents cannot trust him. 2 weeks before the chocolate bars had been revealed, he had stolen money from his mothers purse. The chocolate bars were strike two.
Our Lead Pastor: He chocolate bars were purchased on his credit card, and so because we didn't hav ethe money to at least pay the interest, his credit is then affected.

This student heard all of this, and we had him repeat and recognize, and think of even more ways people were affected by his sin. When he had recognized this, and it started to click, his eyes were open and he started to cry. He saw the gravity of the situation. Your sin never just affects you. One of the best parts of that entire encounter was when we the church staff and his parents sat down with him, and it was asked of him what needs to happen. He was asked, "What do you need to do to fix this?" Automatically he said, "Grounded for 2 weeks." Grace was given to him and his parents and he was grounded only one week (When a child is grounded, so are the parents. Everyone becomes limited in what they can do). He needed to repay, cent for cent, the chocolate bars, and if he didn't do that, by a month later, then the lead pastor was goign to take his guitar for his own as payment for the chocolate bars - regardless of the fact that the guitar is worth more. The fact is, repayment needed to take place. Trust needed to be rebuilt. When you take something from someone, you need to expect it and more to be given back in order to at least start at ground zero.

This is an actual story that took place. However, if you want to, feel free to replace the word's "chocolate bars" with your choice of addiction; porn, alcohol, drugs, gluttony, even video games. And replace "money" with love. And in virtually every instance, it is the same things that are lost: trust and love. You loose trust, and others loose the security of love. That's the lesson I had to learn in my addiction. And I saw it full scope. My addiction has almost cost me: My relationship with my fiancee, my job, friendships, home, everything. My entire life has almost been lost - but at the right time it was brought to light. I no longer can hide. My eyes were open, and I have cried.

Your sin never just affects you. Ever.