Vision

Last night, I was sitting reading, "Courageous Leadership" by Bill Hybels of Willow Creek, in Chicago, and well, I started seeing the areas in where our church needs to step it up, big time. The book never pointed it out, however, the fact remains, this is where we're at.
I wouldn't dare say the church has been limping along, because it hasn't. however, it's neglected many of the key factors that need to be addressed if you're going to have a welcoming church...
Such as a Welcoming Team, aka, greeters. We want GT Church to be a safe place for people to come in and experience the warmth of God... one of the ways in which this takes place is through a friendly handshake at the door. That's something that we don't have - but also, having people do the same on the way out... people need to have a friendly encounter both coming in, during, and leaving the church service... we don't do those things and need to change them.

We also need to begin investing into small groups - the concept of 'Huddles' has been bouncing around in my mind since last night, and I love the concept - a tight knit group of people, coming together for the common purpose of defeating the enemy, creating a battle plan, with some discussion, but ultimately, the QB (Jesus) the guy who tosses us (his church) the ball to run with it, while our defender (Father God) protects us as we run.
Praise the Lord for football... Go COLTS!

The idea of goal setting has been some what of a feux pas here, because other leaders have set them, and failed, but the goals were not under a leadership that desired them. It was just the generic, "we want these things for our church!" and a lack of willingness to work with the community they're in, striving for the mega-church in a small town.
I do believe with all my heart this is possible... but it requires faith and dedication... which seemed to be lacking.

The church has been riding on one leader, who has a passion for the community, and so the church has become an integral part of the town. Church and state have been mixing healthily, praise God. The city wouldn't want to function without the church... who of you can praise God for that victory? We have city councilors dropping off cheques to us saying, "please be at the next event." That dream and vision have been actualized. So, now it's a matter of pressing forward from that, and utilizing that vision, putting it into words, into something we can filter all of our ministries through.

The 'Big Idea' is, "Friends Embracing Friends, Discovering Christ Together."
Simple, workable, and huge implications...
The implication is relationships and in context of those relationships, Christ is found... How sweet?
Thus the need for a welcoming hand at the front door, small groups, and a New Comer card to have filled out by all new comers so we have the contact info and can connect with them during the week, get thier thoughts, feelings, etc.

The rest of my dream and vision for the church definitely falls under this 'Big Idea'. No doubt, but time will tell.

Some of my goals is that by March, 2011, is see our service double in size from an average of 80 to actually 200 people.
Have at least five active 'Huddles'.
In september 2010 start an Evening service on Saturdays.
And see giving increase by a minimum of 20%.

Are these things do-able? Yes. We just need to communicate the vision clearly, and adequately. The resources and people are more than here. We just have to be willing to grow and change and adapt to what the community needs not what the people who have spend their whole lives in church want... that's the tough part.

Re-Examination

In an attempt to become productive and helpful to society, what I began to endeavor to do, was to speak of my addiction in an anonymity, and ultimately, my addiction is sin... surprise surprise.

The angle that I'm more deciding to go with, is this: I will present the truth of the Gospel, the truth of scripture and Jesus Christ as I go through this endeavor of recovery.

As I work on sermons or have good discussion and thoughts, that is what I will post up here.

Due to bloggers terms of agreement and copy-right laws, I will be quite vague, but pointed in scripture, seeing that I won't have to deal with copy-right issues if I were to ever publish my own material.
Peace and grace.

Come Out, Come Out...

I think our relationship with God is like, we're the kid, he's the dad and he's playing hide-and-go-seek, saying "Come out, come out where ever you are!" And dad walks by us, as if he didn't see us, despite the curtain shaking and our feet sticking out, with our loud breathing and giggles.

This is not God.

After Adam and Eve sinned, he called them out. He didn't act as though he didn't know, he simply questioned them - he wanted to see the honest answers. He wanted to know where they were at.
They were the ones who were in shame, they were the ones who didn't know what to do.

There were consequences, there were very real implications for their sin and they knew the results of their sin, but did it anyway. However, I'm pretty sure it sunk in.

Skip a ways through scripture to one story. There's a man named Gideon. Gideon was a coward. He was a wimp who was sitting inside a silo, blowing on the chaff of wheat. Get it? I mocked Gideon all the time, for a long time because of his cowardly way - that is, until my addiction became clear that it really was an addiction.
What happens? Gideon's sitting there, and then *bam* the Angel of the Lord showed up, and said, "Arise, mighty warrior!"
Right... mighty warrior.

The guys a freaking coward! Now, here's the catch - I've been working in a secret place, too. I've been hiding from the enemy, hiding from the world doing my little jobs. And then God says, "Arise mighty warrior!" And then, after him saying that, he says, "your going to lead the charge."

God... really? Arise mighty warrior AND you're going to lead the nation? ha.. ha.. ha..

But then he says "Give me an offering" and so then God burns up that presentation and accepts it. Then vanishes.

*AH-HA!* moments, are kind of annoying - both in others lives and mine. I mean, as nice as it is, but it's usually over something that was obvious... you know?

Then God continues to talk to Gideon saying, "tear down the the alter of Baal and the Ashera Poles". Ok... tear down the structures that people love and worship... and you want me to do it... Sure God, you told me, but i'm going to do it at night... I dont' want to be seen. Sure you told me to do it, but I don't want to be seen.

You will be found out if you are real before God and begin to do what he wants. Your deeds and actions and words will speak louder than ever before.

I identify with Gideon now... and therefore recognize my own cowardice. I'm tearing down the poles and alters. Some of them are at night time (when no ones looking) and others are when it'd broad daylight.
Scary stuff.

The Pain

I've heard it once said, "Love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener." But I would just like to add to that sentiment.
When the eye is opened, it allows for tears to flow freely.

The depth of pain that is caused by ones own sin, not only to the self, but to others is the most interesting part. As the addict, we feel as though we're fine, and in reality, we probably could get along just fine if people didn't exist and want to be a part of our lives. But, they do. People want to be a part of our lives, thus they get hurt. Your sin will never just affect you.

A student I know, had three boxes of chocolates to sell. He sold 6 of the 60 bars (20 per box) and mysteriously, only 5 bars were left. He ate the rest -- in less than two weeks. This student, without sugar, is already extremely hyper, ADHD and just simply doesn't think because he's 12 years old. He's a pre-pubescent boy. And did I mention that his mother is a health freak? Her children rarely ever are allowed sugar. The last time they apparently had soda in the house was eight years ago. This is a literal number. The only reason why grease went into that house in the last four months, was because me and some friends brought some K.F.C knock off over. The kids loved it.
Anyway, this student he actually almost went psycho. No one knew why, until one day his mother found the stash of wrappers. Instead of throwing them out after usage, he let them pile up. Until one day, his stash of left-overs was found. He had been caught. As things began to unfold, he gradually saw how this had affected other people. Yes he had stole, and he would suffer personal consequences. In fact, the consequence he wanted, but couldn't was a spanking. He wanted to have the pain, and be over with it, and just move on, expecting that would actually solve the problem. Yet, because of how many chocolate bars he ate, he owed almost $100. His parents are in a financial struggle, and so is the church that entrusted him with these chocolate bars to sell for a youth fundraiser. So, to simply receive a spanking isn't good enough, nor what is required for restoration, beside the fact that he would never learn otherwise.
Here's how his sin affected other people:
the church: The jr. high youth group was planning on going to a conference. The chocolate bars was to pay for the registration of some students and also bring down the cost so that parents could more easily afford to pay.
Because we were out $100, we couldn't do that as effectively, thus possbily stopping other students from being able to go to this conference.
The church also had to pay for base cost of all the chocolate bars ($1 per bar).
Now, because some kids can't go to this conference, entire family plans for that weekend would be completely messed up. The parents can't do exactly what they planned to, and how they planned to do it.
Not only that, but we can't trust him with anything until he regains that trust.
his family: His family, like stated earlier, had little to no money to speak of. So how are they going to afford a random $100? Now his parents had to work extra hard, find extra money, and actually sacrifice extra all because he got selfish and decided to not think about other people -despite the fact that he admitted he knew it was wrong, but did not care.
His parents cannot trust him. 2 weeks before the chocolate bars had been revealed, he had stolen money from his mothers purse. The chocolate bars were strike two.
Our Lead Pastor: He chocolate bars were purchased on his credit card, and so because we didn't hav ethe money to at least pay the interest, his credit is then affected.

This student heard all of this, and we had him repeat and recognize, and think of even more ways people were affected by his sin. When he had recognized this, and it started to click, his eyes were open and he started to cry. He saw the gravity of the situation. Your sin never just affects you. One of the best parts of that entire encounter was when we the church staff and his parents sat down with him, and it was asked of him what needs to happen. He was asked, "What do you need to do to fix this?" Automatically he said, "Grounded for 2 weeks." Grace was given to him and his parents and he was grounded only one week (When a child is grounded, so are the parents. Everyone becomes limited in what they can do). He needed to repay, cent for cent, the chocolate bars, and if he didn't do that, by a month later, then the lead pastor was goign to take his guitar for his own as payment for the chocolate bars - regardless of the fact that the guitar is worth more. The fact is, repayment needed to take place. Trust needed to be rebuilt. When you take something from someone, you need to expect it and more to be given back in order to at least start at ground zero.

This is an actual story that took place. However, if you want to, feel free to replace the word's "chocolate bars" with your choice of addiction; porn, alcohol, drugs, gluttony, even video games. And replace "money" with love. And in virtually every instance, it is the same things that are lost: trust and love. You loose trust, and others loose the security of love. That's the lesson I had to learn in my addiction. And I saw it full scope. My addiction has almost cost me: My relationship with my fiancee, my job, friendships, home, everything. My entire life has almost been lost - but at the right time it was brought to light. I no longer can hide. My eyes were open, and I have cried.

Your sin never just affects you. Ever.

Entry One - Cries from the Addict

My walk and struggle through the recovery process.

I think of the name of this blog address in two ways.
The play on words goes like this:
The attic. One could associate this with the 'cries from the attic'. It's kind of like a wailing and an unrepresented sound that you hear, are intrigued by and search out, or you run away from for fear of what it may hold.



And then the cries from the addict, is the struggle through the hard times and pains of it all.
It's like re-hab, and a victim of the cruelty of it all, and they begin to lash out, freak out, and not know how to respond. The issues of withdrawl overwhelm them, and they don't know what to do, other than convulse and spasm their way through it, all the while yelling, desperately wanting thier fix, in order to feel some sort of relief - yet that relief is the most undesired thing.
You want to get through, you want to survive, but in order to do it, you must remain clean, and almost concealed in one room with limited human contact.

The attic serves as the addicts refuge, the place of torment, but ultimately freedom.

Going cold-turkey doesn't mean you are going to feel relief immediately, and often times the struggle is the hardest, but to wean yourself into freedom isn't like running headlong into an open field, or jumping into the lake head first. Granted, some people leap before looking, but that is the venture of faith, and I'm trusting that this venture is the right one, the one to recovering.